Sunday, 17 September 2017

James Henry Trotter

What I did well: kept everything simple
Next Steps: Use a range of sentence starters  

Sunday, 6 August 2017

The Wounderful Winged Creature

The Wonderful Winged Creature

“WHOOSH” As the sun set over the horizon the breathtaking white winged horse flew all around through the clouds enjoying the last minute warmth of the sun. Her call out to the heavens echoed over mountains and through forests and villages I watched this in amazement. Standing on my old ragged broken boat feeling lost, helpless, and stuck… stuck out in the middle of nowhere, with the smallest amount of food and water, she stopped... her mane, her beautiful white mane stood out in the blaze of the sun. The creature’s eyes beamed and glistened off the reflection of the water, I was paralysed... hooked in a magnificent gaze. My mind was blown I had never in my whole life seen anything like it, “it’s just marvellous!” I thought to myself but then I realised it will probably the last time I see anything like that breathtaking horse and it would probably be the last time I see anything but my disorganised boat. Then all of a sudden she called out to me and gestured for me to get on her back I gently climbed on, her fur was super silky, it was softer than a baby’s bottom. As we glided off i was wondered what I had left behind and what was installed for me next...    

I like the way you used descriptive words to enhance the reader’s experience. Next time please add your title at the top of your writing.
- Chantelle